Why is it so hard to make mom friends in your 30s?
I just turned 30. I became a mom at 26. And honestly? Making mom friends has been one of the hardest parts of this whole thing. Harder than potty training. Okay maybe not harder than potty training. But close!
The Halloween playdate
I went to a playdate the other day. I literally had just enough time to wrap up a meeting with my team and drive over. I didn’t even think to bring anything.
When I walked in the other moms had baked, brought treats, brought cute little gifts. And there I was empty handed with my almost 4 year old already halfway into the snack table
The best I could do was send the hosting mom some money to help cover the party and everything my kid was about to eat and glue together. Which for the record I think 1000% counts the same as brining something to a party. but I felt the looks of me not brining anything
The moms were all really sweet, but we didn’t really click. Most of them were stay at home moms NO JUDGEMENT HERE. I think being a stay at home mom is the hardest job in the world, and I know I personally couldn’t do it. But because I work, it kind of felt like we didn’t have much to talk about. Our days just look really different.
My kind of mom life
Here’s my life right now. I work from home full time. I’m also in real estate. And I have an almost 4 year old whose every single sentence starts with “Mom”
Maybe I’m a little delulu, but I do believe I can have it all. Not all of it at 100% all the time. I know that. But I love that I get to work, hang out with my kid, and travel with her and without her. I love that my life isn’t only about being a mom.
And I am a very present mom. I love my daughter, and I spend most of my time with her. I just also have some non negotiables. My nails. Therapy. Travel. Our part time nanny. Her swim and dance classes.
We don’t have any family close by so I like to joke that we’re buying our village. And in this economy a village takes two incomes.
So where are my people?
I think that’s why it feels so hard. Making friends as an adult is already awkward. Making mom friends adds a whole other layer. It’s not just about liking each other. It’s nap schedules, work schedules, and whether you’re the mom who brings homemade cupcakes or the mom who Venmos.
I’m the Venmo mom. And I’m okay with that
What I’m really looking for is moms who get it. Moms who are like minded, but who also don’t care one bit if I decide to work or do life a little differently. Moms I can be fully myself with
So if you’re a working mom in your 30s and you’re also wondering where your people are, hi. I’m right here. Maybe we can build our village together.
Also maybe let me know how life is going with making mom friends?? Any and all advice welcome!
